Footprints

2012-02-11T02:27:00.001+08:00

because life is such. people come and go. humans leave, and human stays. nothing on earth will last forever, nothing on earth is of eternal. broken promises exist, but still words for words that have been fulfilled always outright it. this is like a patching moment, to fix a piece of puzzle, one by one into the picture. you patch it into the size that does not fit, it won't be that piece that is suppose to say that particular message. love is such, the elements change but love stays. living is such, to grab hold of the infinite moment that will never come by again. writing is such, to jot down the little scramble thought so that memories will have a play. of sunrise and sunset, there will always be a time for the ups and down. be it gonna tear your flesh, shatter your heart or breaking you into million pieces, you will need to glue your mind, guard your heart and fix your soul. life is such, the narrator of your story will always be there to tell of the days you setting your attitude right, becoming a stronger person and believing that tomorrow will be brighter under all circumtances. then looking back, seeing the scars and marks, were there to forming a better you, a relief filled with real pleasure and heart of gratitude. living life, breathing the every single precious moment.

2012-01-10T11:21:00.002+08:00

i should pull the thick string up and keep the distance, or having no borders?
both hurts.

What 2011 has done to me

2012-01-05T23:11:00.001+08:00

If i have to choose a word for year 2011, it would then be Mercy.

I won't lie. 2011 has been such a tough and rough year. The hardest year so far that i've encountered. Moving from my comfort zone into a place where i'm almost completely blind to, no clue of what the world is leading me to. Learning to live my life all by myself, doing all from the beginning to the end, from head to toes, with my bare hands. Certainly, it is not easy. But i'm grateful i pull it through.

Having to bringing my studies into a new level, relationship with friends and family into a different zone, and this vital part of it, a special relationship with someone dear to me. Again i won't lie, all of these affect me a lot, change and mould me into a different character i never know i'd be.

I learnt about the fine line between caring and getting hurt. Understanding and accepting between caring for the loved ones wearing away and avoiding the pain of having to lose the extensively love ones. Many times, i give myself a good cry if i need it. Then i focus on the good things still in life. Repeat this over and over again. The weak side of me, but it also shape me into a tougher person, lily that can endure more in life.

Throughout the whole year, i keep on reminding myself that life is sweet, life is beautiful despite all the bitterness that has to come.

2011 was messy and unstable. That's the negative phase. But of course, i had a ever learning and growing of year 2011. I learnt new things, met new and awesome people, people who love and care for me. Strangers that show kindness. A life that i had never experienced before. Now, i would then say, that 2011 is the year i will miss, i will remember as long as i can breathe.

I deal not only with the physical things seen with naked eyes. Way beyond that, i deal with myself emotionally. It was hard, it was rough and wasn't at all smooth. All struggles and yelling inside, not seen and understand by the world, the whispering of self to self to constantly hoping to pull through another day. Of all these, if i were to say i had a smooth year, that would be a lie. Nevertheless, i grown a great deal. Grown so much, out of my expectation, out of what i can imagine myself to walk such miles.

I made decisions that hurt a lot. Stepping out of my ever happy disney fairytale, to embrace a bigger picture. To be honest , I feel as if i will die but then I know i'm never going to regret that.

Those who've been by my sides, thank you so much. Those who lighten up my day, thank you so much. Those who kept putting smiles on my face and make me laugh, thank you so much. Trying to cheer this pessimist, you guys have done an awesome work. Those who thought of me, wished me and prayed for me, thank you so much. And above all, those who shown me love, thank you so so much.
People i'm grateful for, I believe you know who you are.

The two quotes that's significant for my year :

I'm selfish , impatient and little insecure. I make mistakes , I'm out of control and at things hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst , then you surely as well don't deserve me at my best. ------ Marilyn Monroe

You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.- William Shakespear.

As usual, a never ending learning process. I'm learning a little more patient, talk and shut up at the right time, knowing how to put smiles on faces, be thankful all the time, understanding and knowing how to love just right.

Never thought the year would end this way, but well, it did. Mercy.

I'm carving all these hard in my heart, so i will not forget the happiness i found in bitterness. It's even better than the happiness in happiness. It taste much better, and sweeter at the end point.

So now i say I will push myself a little harder even if the pathway has more stones than ever.

:)

2012-01-03T01:19:00.001+08:00

just trying to chill you and to cheer myself. sigh.
so tired
:'(

2011-12-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

needs a break from everything

2011-12-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

lay awake at night
wait for happiness to come home
you crawl into the bed
and now you should know better how to comtemplate your loneliness

I should come with a consumer warning, like the labels that say “Handle with care” or “May be hazardous to your health.” I am unfit for human consumption. I struggle to articulate how awful and isolating this feels, but I can’t find the words.

existentialism so well, for the feeling of disconnection you cultivate
starve for some meaning but still, ever thankful and grateful :)

2011-12-13T10:07:00.000+08:00

i dont wish and dont want it to last long as for now. half a year to the most

2011-12-11T02:18:00.002+08:00

whacking down satay, white rice, some sauce, watermelon, pear, oranges, leftover dishes, ice cubes, flavoured ice right and straight from the fridge right now. They all are cold. yayy

2011-12-10T09:48:00.000+08:00

i came without you and i will leave without you this time.

Scramble thoughts&feelings

2011-12-08T18:28:00.002+08:00

A wound beneath an old bandage, and had grown more used to the bandage.
Ending in the sun, begin in the dusk.
All endings are also beginnings, we just don't know it at the time.

It's as if knowing times were near, and that he would come, grab tightly, and never let go,
then left with no choices but to follow.
When your time came, it came, and that was that.

In those final moments, seem to hear the whole world:
distant screaming, waves, music, a rush of wind, a low,loud,ugly sound blasting all over.
Buckled, flew, stumbled.

Each that is far physically, or emotionally. Catching up with them, spending some time together like never before. Even people i've lost physically, i can no longer see with my naked eyes. People i love, people i care, people i miss. I'm seeing everyone, seeing all in my dream, at least. I had and will continue to having good times with them in my dreams, every night without fail.
I dream dreams.

Once was stunning impact, blinding flash of light, then nothing.
To say one day, never forgot.

2011-12-07T21:51:00.000+08:00

the extreme feeling of :
afraid to lose something
sad
fear

is literally wearing me away,
all sides.

2011-12-01T02:09:00.002+08:00

How now?
When miles couldn't even explain the distance, how?
In a different world where nothing will share the similarity?

Just wished you'd fight, and wait.
That you'd stay. But hold and below, no.
It's not going to happen by any means.
Stronger than it seems, fragile she mights be.
Whispering & yelling, the inner me.

What calls, on this lonely road?
I need some getaways,
to come back in one whole piece if possible.
Coming back with a stronger self.

I'm fine and happy, the she that everyone expects.

2011-11-28T00:49:00.002+08:00

if you know what i mean

2011-11-25T15:53:00.001+08:00

A symbolic thanks giving day. Not exactly a thing of ours here, but just want to take this opportunity to thank someone.

Times to time, i try to recall the every single thing, little details that we've achieved together. Whenever i thought of something, i'm thankful for that. Even if it is just taking out all the bones from the fish for you. (yes i know, sounds silly)

You have shown me love and kindness, physically and emotionally.
So much, so great of it that sometimes i couldn't contain it well. And sometimes, i tend to take it for granted as if you just have to do it cause i think i need it.
But above all, you made me see: i have to be more independent; i have to stay strong in all circumstances; i need to grow up and not stay a baby; i need to love myself.

Thank you so much for everything, literally, everything that you have done for me.

A journey that you brought and walked me.
Just so you know, i have and am always thankful for you.

PS: If you're reading this, you know who you are.

2011-11-20T16:48:00.003+08:00

till death do us apart

knowing the days might be or are near, fear creeps in..

2011-11-19T12:58:00.000+08:00

feeling unstable today

2011-11-17T19:01:00.000+08:00

looking forward to spending some love-quality time with them :)

and of course,
the crazy fella

Note to self: life is beautiful. even at rough times, make things look pretty and possible, smooth enough to run through with fingers :)

2011-11-12T11:15:00.000+08:00

nehh.
finally revive it back
just can't erase and wash it away
so much track of growth, memories and love here.

2011-10-03T20:17:00.002+08:00

there's a deep cry, a deep, deep, one.

2011-07-28T12:30:00.000+08:00

一个人。。可能我早已习惯一个人的感觉吧。。。

Of Summer and Winter

2011-07-07T17:22:00.003+08:00

Its been half a year since i'm here in KL. Experiencing a whole new level of my life. Stepping out of super comfort zone. Bringing myself to more challenging zone. Making the best out of everything i have. Indulging myself in a brand new relationships with people around me. So and so, it definitely not a owh-so-easy-super-fun living in KL life style. I wouldn't say i have no fun at all here, but i can assure you it is not easy.

Right. I met a special someone here. Someone i hold dear to. Someone i care. Someone i want to be with so much. Someone who is a family to me. Someone who is a part of my life. Someone who would mean the world to me. Someone, i love.

I see him. And i want to see more. I want to feel more of him. I want to let myself to be in his position where i can see things from his point of view, his perspective. I want to understand him more. I want to know him more. I want to know how he feels. I want to feel what he feels. I want to be more understanding.

Many at times, i'm impatient. I'm unhappy. I get fussy with little things and i go angry with myself and choose the silent treatment. I'm not understanding. But he tolerates. I'm not perfect and i'm no where near there. Just each and everyday, i'm trying my very best to improve myself to be a better person. To have a real good behaviour. To have patience. To be soft. To be a good girl.

The man beyond what he is to others. The man who do love and care. The man who tolerate. The man who work himself out to what he is capable of to be a better man. The man who takes care of me. The man who is willing to go through some much for and with me.

Its good to love. It makes you see things way beyond your eye level. It is always good to be loved, but even better to love :)

A short period of time. Sweet and sour. Tasteless, bitter, you named it.

Even at hard and harsh times, yet so lovely.

Ups and Downs. Rough and smooth. To the man, Louis Liaw.

Thank you so much <3

A Keep Up With Life

2011-07-02T04:30:00.000+08:00

Many of you have been wondering what i've been up to these days. Just a brief review, i started A-levels course January 2011 in Brickfields Asia College. College is fun in terms of i'm having cool friends and awesome lecturers. Inspiration after inspiration, knowledge after knowledge, practical in life and what not for you to grow in utilising every single thing that you own. Its not just theories like in high school afterall. I'm really really glad and thankful to be placed in BAC.

I don't miss high school, honestly. But, but. I miss my high school friends. I miss my old gang i used to talk, laugh, go crazy, fooling around with. I miss my friends. I miss every single person of the awesome group i'm so comfortable with. Although we don't contact each other as often, the thought is always there. The relationship that connects us together still count, and will continue to count on.

Life in college can be said as a bed of roses. But mind you, roses have thorns all over them. Well, not that rosy-comfy you see. Who don't love roses? Who on earth here hates comfort? No one. Everyone loves convenience. Everyone wants the fastest and easiest assess to basically everything. That's what we all called, Life.

Let me get the word college out. To live life with contentment is not easy. Living a fruitful life is not easy. It has got what it takes. Sacrifices. There is always a give, and a take.

I couldn't update everything that has happened for the past few weeks, few months. It would be too lengthy and too little privacy for myself if i were to publish it here. But, having to spend a little time sitting down with a cup of tea and catch up with what has happened together, fun, right? :)

More updates soon :)

A little of life

2011-06-13T13:13:00.000+08:00

The Brick,

A young and successful executive was travelling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.. He was watching for kids darting from between parked cars and slowed when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him against a parked car shouting,

'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do ,' He pleaded. ' I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' with tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car... 'It's my brother,' he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat... He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, the took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home...

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you !

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let sink in...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

ps: from beth's :)

2011-06-04T15:00:00.001+08:00

just so you know

一个故事说穿了很多人

2011-05-24T01:37:00.000+08:00

A不喜欢吃鸡蛋，每次发了鸡蛋都给B吃。刚开始B很感谢，久而久之便习惯了。习惯了，便理所当然了。于是，直到有一天，A将鸡蛋给了C，B就不爽了。她忘记了这个鸡蛋本来就是A的，A想给谁都可以。为此，她们大吵一架，从此绝交。
有一年，很热的夏天，一队人出去漂流。　　
女孩的拖鞋在玩水的时候，把拖鞋掉下去了，沉底了。到岸边的时候，全是晒的很烫的鹅卵石，他们要走很长的一段路。于是，女孩儿就向别人寻求帮忙，可是谁都只有一双拖鞋。女孩心里很不爽，因为她习惯了向别人求助，而只要撒娇就会得到满意地答复。可是这次却没有。她忽然觉得这些人都不好，都见死不救。
后来，有一个男孩将自己的拖鞋给了她，然后自己赤脚在那晒得滚烫的鹅卵石上走了很久的路。还自嘲说是铁板烧。女孩表示感谢，男孩说，你要记住，没有谁是必须要帮你的。帮你是出于交情，不帮你是应该。女孩记住了男孩的话，自此以后学会了对施以援手的人铭记在心，并给以更大的回报。
很多时候，我们总是希望得到别人的好。
一开始，感激不尽。可是久了，便是习惯了。习惯了一个人对你的好，便认为是理所应当的。有一天不对你好了，你便觉得怨怼。其实，不是别人不好了，而是我们的要求变多了。习惯了得到，便忘记了感恩.

#trying to be very chinese :)

To whom it may concern

2011-05-22T01:48:00.002+08:00

It is not smooth sailing. There will not only be happiness and sweetness for you to dwell in. There's more for you to search, more to embrace, be it bitter or sweet. The fact is i'm in a mess. I can't deal with myself. I can't choose, or more like i don't seem to have a choice. I don't know how and what to do.

I walked. And continue walking. I walk a little faster. I run. The pathway is like hills. Up and down, up and down. I accelerate and push my way up. I look around. And i continue running until i reach a place i couldn't go further anymore. Again i look around and see no one. I climb on the balustrade. I see water. I see river. Never stop flowing, rushing their way to a place i'll never know.

Then i saw a reflection. I see the girl beaming in joy. No, i see sadness. I see a face. It is so clear, yet so blur. I almost couldn't recognise her. I say Hi and she waves back. I say Bye and i see tears. Then i know she loves Hi and she hates Bye. I looked at her. Her wavy face, washing away with the river, flowing with it. She didn't know where she's heading. She is confused, just like her face in the water.

Despite the fact that i can't see her face clearly. I looked into her eyes like no one ever does. I saw things no one ever seen. I look into her heart. This is hard. It is tough to see through her heart. So i asked, what's inside there. No answer.. I asked again. Again, no answer. Getting impatient i ask her again with a tone up voice. She whispered back. i can't hear! i can't hear her! I said can you shout out loud. And she too, with frustration, say no. No, no, no, to the world. She wants to be sealed.

She wants to be closed.

I look a little harder. I saw heartache. I saw a little too much of the unseen and unheard. She's afraid. She is afraid.

She's scared to be pushed away. pushed away, again.

Acts of Love

2011-05-21T20:21:00.000+08:00

If endear is earned
and is meant to identify
two halves

then it composes
one meaning

which means
a token

a knot
a note

a nothing in the head
of how it feels

to have your heart
be the dear one

-Pam Rehm

2011-05-14T17:57:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna admit i'm afraid to open up myself to people, to the world..anymore. sometimes even till a level i'm afraid to own anything because i can't afford to lose them...

2011-04-28T10:59:00.000+08:00

Good morning world! I'm back, or at least i think i'm back.When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade. When milk turns sour, make yoghurt! Soon, soon :)

2011-04-03T19:45:00.000+08:00

love is not by preferences. love is not by favourite. love is not conditional. love is not passive. love is by choice. love is active. in life, we need to make a choice to love, not just by words, but with actions. its always easy to love people we like, but we too can choose to love people we dont like. perfect love drives out fear. when we love each other, god is there. love will always reveal god. without love, it brings you nothing. love, so much of it yet so less of it. so easy yet so difficult. learning to love

2011-03-30T09:24:00.000+08:00

i'm at crossroad.

2011-03-29T08:23:00.000+08:00

the first to be in the library at 8 feels great. its all dark but when you step in, lights on. awesome. another day to go. to do work and deal with the hidden one. oh where art thou?

2011-03-28T14:09:00.000+08:00

both things gonna be really really tough. sigh. not sure if i should carry it on. heart oh heart. mind oh mind.

2011-03-24T02:43:00.001+08:00

I always fight to be. To be that perfect person everyone dream of. To be someone someone wants to be. Always wanting to be a good friend, good sister and a good daughter. Somehow when i can smell some of the aroma, i push a little too hard and can only taste the mountain from a certain distance. Along some roads i've chosen, i picked up a few big things. At the same time, i left out some seems to be minor candies. I always thought it doesn't matter at all. Looking back, if i were to put all the minor candies together, it would be so much better than some of the "big" thing i've achieved.

Its always wanna be better and better and better. I sometimes ran a little too fast, without realising i actually fell a few times. Only at the end of the something, all the pain and hurts seems to be so real...no. It is real. It hurts a little too much. You will end up lying to yourself and people that everything is fine and okay. Then when you get some time all to yourself, you realise its not.

I love them but I routinely hurt the love ones. How ironic? I constantly remind them of some miserable moments and what not. I want people to be proud of me but disappointment flying everywhere. I want to be good but i'm not.

I look at the girl, examine and trying to figure out who she really is. Every explicit details about her. Deep down in her heart, her soul, her mind and her spirit. I'm looking through very, very, hard. Is this the girl who will still hold on for the something her heart desires?

Everyday is a brand new day to the never ending discoveries of ones' life.

"Let your Yes be yes and your no be no." - you know who you are.

I might not be all good, but i'll be fine :)

2011-03-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

physically and emotionally worn out. sigh. life juice, anyone?

2011-03-08T10:04:00.000+08:00

starting the day with a heart filled with thanksgiving and gratitude :)

To a friend

2011-02-25T16:26:00.001+08:00

You and I know we've come a very, very long way. Gone through so much together and so much more without each other and what not. Those days, pain and laughter, joy and tears, the happiness and sufferings and hard days will now become sweet memories.

So much so, we understand each other from many different aspects. No words needed and yet in the split second we can read each other's thoughts.

We fought. We cried. We laugh.

Eleven years of friendship, and still counting :')

The girl born on 16 February 1993, Szeyi. Happy 18th Birthday! :)
Love you lots <3

2011-02-14T00:14:00.000+08:00

i'm really really really surprised but thank you! i'm very happy :) put a really very super big smile on my face haha :')

something from FB

2011-02-13T23:30:00.001+08:00

听说重感情的人是这样的
by 非主流

1、容易满足，更容易受伤
2、总有一种，被忽视的感觉
3、付出的远远超过得到的
4、很固执，不懂得放弃
5、总是说着要离开，却一再为自己找不离开的理由

6、在别人面前笑得很开心，一个人的时候却很漠落

7、在陌生人面前很安静，在朋友面前胡闹

8、不会想索要的太多的回报，只要一点点就可以让我死心塌地，可以很少，但一定要有

9、心情不好的时候，却喜欢听悲歌

10、坐在电脑前，不知道做什么，却又不想关掉它

11、觉得世界上每一个人都不可靠，但却还是那样地选择相信别人

12、偶尔会有种想消失的念头

13、不喜欢等待，却总是等待

14、经常不经意的发呆

15、总会把事情想得很长久

16、总是觉得没有人会把自己放在心里疼

17、心事放在心底，有一个自己的世界

18、习惯了沉默，在沉默中爆发

19、会怀疑，却总是要把人往好处想

20、不喜欢一个人逛街

21、一点点事就胡思乱想

22、自己走路会很快

23、隐藏心事，喜欢一个人流泪

24、习惯冷战

25、喜欢角落、习惯蜷缩

26、莫名地孤单，无法抗拒的恐惧感

27、不爱说话或很爱说话

kinda true :O

2011-02-13T23:16:00.003+08:00

dont feel like talking

2011-02-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

It isn't always an AHA moment. There's time when you need to choose and make your own decisions. Things just don't always sail itself. Rather, God shows you the way if you ask, and most importantly, Pray. Sigh, I need to get back on track very soon. I don't want to just get to the lucky street, have fun for a period of time and actually end up with nothing.

A season to take a stand, to be wise, to learn.

2011-02-10T17:00:00.002+08:00

let go, let go.

2011-02-10T11:08:00.002+08:00

hahahahahhaha. HAHAHAHAHAHA. whatever it is, i just want to keep the smiles and the laughter :)

2011-02-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

you just know and understand what sisterhood is all about when this minute you get mad at your sister and the next minute its back to normal :')

2011-01-30T10:37:00.002+08:00

home sweet home! :')

but i dont know, there's a little sigh there to something..

2011-01-29T12:26:00.002+08:00

you know you're very blessed and surrounded by awesome people when they greet you well in the morning to start the day off :')

2011-01-27T20:26:00.001+08:00

cool cool. its just plain awesome.

2011-01-24T15:32:00.002+08:00

It isn't how much we do, but how much love we put into what we do that really counts. - Mother Teressa

2011-01-24T14:02:00.002+08:00

goodness. this guy is so scary and so cool at the same time!! he writes really, really fast and he's like a machine! wow, i wish i can have his speed :O

counting, and still counting

2011-01-21T17:20:00.000+08:00

its been a week, exactly a week..

learning to stand on my own feet

i'm so used to eating with family and i really miss the company :(

i do everything myself!! i.e. wash clothes, hang clothes, fold clothes, iron clothes, sweep and mop the floor, make the bed, organise my things, you name it. and with all the walking and work everyday, i can feel my energy drying up

but "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:29-31

learning, growing, understanding.

For the Lord is good :)

learning, growing

2011-01-18T13:51:00.001+08:00

realised parents and sisters miss me really much...and i miss them so much too... so much so i can't tell it out :'(
cause life is not easy here in KL.. feel like running away from everything though i kind of "enjoy" myself with whatever happens here. ahhhh :'(

life juice

2011-01-05T22:41:00.000+08:00

sometimes it is like this. the harder you try, the further you will be pushed. but when you least expect something, TADAHH! it will be right infront of you. Again, LIFE :)

2011-01-02T21:47:00.000+08:00

feeling sentimental to know that my little sis is growing up, taking a new step into her 14years old. to watch daddy and mummy doing as much as they can to give me and their 3 other daughters the best of everything. to understand they're no more one who can work for 24 hours a day. to see both eunice and joanna going after their dreams, and at the same time, being elder sisters to me. am feeling really really sentimental..

Gratitude :)

when you need to learn new things

2010-12-21T00:46:00.000+08:00

all kinds of thoughts running in my mind. things doesn't always look the way they seems to be. simply because this is part and parcel of life

A Piece Of Memory

2010-12-16T22:17:00.000+08:00

2010 has been a great year, isn't it? Ranging from studies to dealing with emotions and SPM, it definitely outgrow my expectations for this year. Although it seems to be real tough from times to times throughout the year, but at the end of every single thing, it came out just nice. Life isn't unfair. I figure out it is you who makes life fair or unfair. It can never be just one-sided.

During SPM exams, I felt really, really loved. Not that i'm such a jerk who doesn't know how to appreciate things and don't feel loved other times. But everything Daddy, Mummy, and Lydia did for me really touched my heart so deeply. Lydia cooked for me for like 1 month + continuously when mom's at work without any murmuring. Mom took leave for a while so she can send me to school and cook more nutritious food for me. Daddy massage my shoulder when I complained i'm too tired with this worn out hands and shoulders from all the readings and writings. I'm like a little princess at home, haha! :) Every single thing they did be it either big or small warmth my heart. I kind of miss my SPM days now..(nahhhhhh!)

Another thing, thank you so much to those who've wished me before and during the exams! It means a lot to me and I really appreciate you guys for all the kind words and thoughtful thoughts :)

Anyway, the most important thing here is I WILL MISS MY HIGH SCHOOL LIFE SO SOO MUCH! Although complicated things happened..like most of the times, eh?, still i'll stick with this bunch of friends (shernee, szeyi, puihong, zhiqing, yumi, peiyi, jingyi, chaumei, siewwee, seekyang, teoh, weiyi, cheeyang, diana, jiamay, darick, waiting, violet, chinting, mok, voonhwee, vinsen) for the rest of my life. I know i can never leave them :) Whatever they have done to make me happy and grow up as a mature lady, i'll remember bit by bit and never let it fade away (wo hui zi dao qing qing chu chu! hahaha) :)

Owh yea, if you want a perfect party, this gang this people can really throw one you'll remember for the rest of your life! The graduation party yesterday was epic! From how they organise and those heavy preparations, food, slide show, games, prizes, cerths to words and writings and entertainment, i'll rate it 10/10 over all the parties i ever been to :) This is also like a farewell party before everyone leave town and i can't help feeling really sentimental all the time. Haih.

Strangely, i didn't feel that excitement i thought i'll have when i finished my paper like how i thought it would be. I'm looking forward for another chapter of story in college but yet, reluctant to leave my family, my friends and this town. Really thankful i finished my school life here and brought up in this town Kuala Krai, this state Kelantan. Sayo anok kelate, haha! Good thing i didn't grow up and study in KL (no, not discriminating those who grow up and study there), its just that i'll like it better in a way moving from a small town to another as i grow up to be more mature and understand things better. Then, i can learn to adapt to different environment and able to reminisce those awesome times in different places :)

Till next post,

i miss my friends already :')

A Chapati Story

2010-12-11T19:24:00.000+08:00

A True Story from the annals of Guru Nanak....
A woman baked chapati for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapati on the Window-sill, for whosoever would take it away. Everyday, a hunchback came and took away the chapati. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: "The evil you do remains with you:
The good you do, comes back to you!" This went on, day after day.
Everyday, the hunch-back came, picked up the chapati and uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself....

"Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean? "One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the Chapatti she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said.

Immediately, she threw the chapati into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window - sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapati and muttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Everyday, as the woman placed the chapati on the window-sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.... She prayed
for his safe return. That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway.... He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapati."As he gave it to me, he said,
"This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!" As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.

She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapati that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words:
"The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!
"Do good and; don't ever stop doing good, even if it's not appreciated at that time.

If you like this, share it with others :) You might bring changes to their lives :)

2010-11-09T13:00:00.002+08:00

If you know what this picture indicating/means at your first sight, congratulations.
If you don't..its okay.
If you want to know, maybe i'll let you know if you ask. o.o

lying on the bed in a hospital isn't always a good thing, eh? yes? no? maybe? haih

Swings

2010-11-09T01:13:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling blue right now.

My mood swings terribly well.

Only if someone can give me a hug right now.

How nice if good messages could ring my phone for a while.

Imagine how great it would be if there's one who can feel it whenever i'm feeling low.

haih.

Anyway, if you're wondering, i deactivated my Facebook account day before yesterday..oh wait..3days ago..yes again. hahh! I'll return, you know when.

And,
As usual, i'm always fascinate with "IF" by Rudyard Kipling,

"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";"

Another thing, EuniceDajie is back! :)) *happy happy*

Her sudden flight back to Malaysia shocked me :O and make me happy at the same time :D

In a few months time from a third person view, thing would be:

They embraced one last time before going their separate ways...hm

Merriment, Nostalgia

2010-11-06T21:51:00.001+08:00

You call him Ravi, Nash or Ravinash. haha :))

me, nash, yen :))

Looking forward for the next meet up, contented intellectual fun conversation :)

Awesome people, great times :)

Once i talk, i can't stop. Cause some people love it, some are okay with it, some will be annoyed? hmm.. Alright. I get the idea, see the picture :)

So, i'm learning to listen more than to talk more.See, i'm not good in summarizing words. ~~I never score full mark for my summary.~~ lollers.

And, i'm a good listener if you're closed enough with me :)

Another thing, only if people can be nicer...nicerr..like Moreee nice :)

Till next time.

Much love,

Lily

Redirecting

2010-11-03T10:38:00.000+08:00

To see a world in a grain of sand,

and heaven in a wild flower,

hold infinity in the palm of your hand,

and eternity in an hour.

Taking a hiatus :)

Bonjour!

2010-11-02T02:59:00.000+08:00

-Me love tulips much, much, much :)

-Sometimes i do hope some people can come into my world of fantasy once in a while, leaving footprints, to embrace me.

-I love to receive messages from people. A simple ":)", "goodnight", "all the best", "hugs", "loves" or even forward messages be it either sweet, encouraging or inspiring, always i'll be smiling reading the text. Ahhh :)

-I don't like it when i have to delete messages. (*clears throat*, i started using phone last year end and never buy any handphone okay. I'm using big sister's first Sony Ericsson phone which got no memory card and another dad's very first phone, Nokia3310 HAHA i love this..nahh you imagine yourself how many years d the phone) The fact that i love reading text over and over again makes me go :/ when the phone reads "95% text message full" or the message sign keeps blinking cause that's the time i'll need to choose what messages to keep, what to delete o.O

-When someone says something, at least deign to reply or give a smile cause you never know what happens next or how your response will affect that person :) (speeding in this also, heh!)

-Really love it when someone tells me how my smile brighten up their day or how much they love to see me smile :)) Those words make my day :)

Very random, but I love Daddy, Mummy, EuniceDajie, JoannaErjie and LydiaGirl very very much <3

Chasing Pavements

2010-10-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade.

When milk turns sour, make yogurt.

A walk to remember

2010-10-30T03:01:00.002+08:00

Before choir performance :)

Teacher Woon! :) *hint: she got lots sense of humour* haha :D

Me and Aliff (if not mistaken) he's upper 6, *me young me younger!* lol :D

*likey*

All those took part in *you named it* with prizes in national and international :) Should have take another 1 with everyone in it..but i guess the school's stage couldn't fit in all :(

story behind this picture:

I didn't know dad came to pick up me until Szeyi told me. Then when i saw him he was talking to PK Ko and earlier with the principal. The instant i looked in his eyes, i see sparks. On the way back home i was telling dad the malam ko's story and was fun. Before i got down the car daddy said:"Papa is very proud of you. Keep it up and continue to bring blessings to others. In whatever you do, do it to glorify God's name. Give thanks to Him. You will be successful", and dad hugged me followed by a kiss on my cheek :') Mom was upstairs and before i went up, dad was like "ehh, have you taken pictures? Solo pictures?" I said no and he took the camera, asking me to stand *wherever he pointed* and start snapping pictures of me :')) *dad quite a good photographer at times* haha :D

Ranging from the our last choir performance ever in high school life to meeting new people and having fresh conversations, i feel nostalgic. Though i did mentioned "maybe i will not miss high school", i realised i can never do that. I know i'm going to miss all these very, very much. I felt i could never leave high school..its like a part of me now which will always stays and remains. We don't have graduation party or so in school so basically this Malam Ko marked the end of high school 2010. By the way, with so many "likes" and comments on Facebook for the malam ko's pictures, it strucked me. It gives a feeling "keep it up" or "good work" or something and i'm feeling to tear when all those nice people keep giving their never ending encouragement :')

Random 1:

The other day when we was talking in school about school and friends, they was saying in primary, Teacher Chin used to say I'm the type very kiasu. I don't deny that cause i did realise that thing. Just now when i talked to a friend, he was telling me he felt peaceful and how his dad encouraged him. And he used to be so kiasu (i didn't tell him i'm like that too haha) but now he knew there's something different now. I felt good to know that cause i needed it :) Thank you so much! :)

Random 2:

When i'm feeling really low, sad or the opposite super high spirited, i love to give little gifts to people around me. It makes me happy. Especially when i'm feeling really low, giving puts a smile on my face and in my heart. And when people told me how much they love the small gifts, i felt very blessed and really happy :) "...It is more blessed to give than to receive" - Acts 20:35 :)

Cherishing and remembering :)

You say

2010-10-25T23:37:00.002+08:00

You will be amazed and surprised by the amount of vitamins and food supplement i took daily. I know something wrong somewhere when i can hardly drag myself out of the bed. Tonnes of works, dizziness(low blood pressure), headache, and nutritional supplements.

Energy, anyone?

Life.

Milestone

2010-10-23T14:39:00.001+08:00

In life, we all come to a junction where we'll encounter lots of things, and we'll have to choose. The road not taken or the road often traveled. To be or not to be. To do or not to do. To say yes or to say no. Making a wise decision or turning into the wrong way. Taking things and cases seriously or lightly. How we respond. How we deal with our own emotions. How we allow others to come along and help. How we free ourselves from something we always deny. The way we set up our mind. Times when the decisions we make will affect us, maybe for the rest of our lives. Seasons when everything seems tough.

Not only in seasons of difficulties but all the time.

Pray, pray, pray.

On earth since 21 October 1989

2010-10-22T00:27:00.003+08:00

On earth since 21 October 1989, present to you
Joanna Tan Lay Hsien.

To quote Joanna Erjie, "Take a deep breath and fill your brain with lots of Oxygen"

Your smiles and laughter, your patience and kindness, your loves and hopes, strength and faith that you posses taught me to live life passionately, taught me to be a good sister and at the same time, a good daughter. The joy in you brings happiness and blessings, so keep going! There's whole lots more for you to explore, to discover and to taste. You know you can and you will ;) , and will get over things which is keeping you in the same phase :)

Thousands miles away from each other and only get to see each other once or twice a year, still, our heart lies together :)

Love you so much Joanna Erjie! and i wanna sayyyyyy

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!!!!

you know you're young! hehhh!

Punchline

2010-10-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

I sense a lifelong contentment if I get over it.

Runaway secrets. Moving On, because life goes on.

What doesn't kill you make you a stronger person

2010-10-17T16:13:00.002+08:00

Cinderella and Prince Charming can exist in whatever situation. But for both to meet at the right time, accepting each other for who he/she is, correct and uphold one another, that's the hardest part. Falling in love with someone isn't just a thing of "i love you, you love me". Its something so much more than the three words.

To quote Rachel, "Fall in love with someone who deserves it, not someone who plays with it. We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." This is indeed very true.

If the thought "Owh, is lily falling for a guy?" is playing in your mind now, no worries. Like what Joanna said :"you're clueless about love, haha" :), and many guys who mentioned "can't imagine you with a boyfriend...no..no" So, i'm certainly not falling in love~~, yet. (?)~~ Lol -___- Or more like i don't want to put too much attention on someone who doesn't know how to appreciate it. That's the thing i guess. I preserve my heart very well cause i wouldn't want anyone to come break it into pieces (be it either broke into two or millions cause its the same to me) Untuk maklumat lanjut, that's for me to know, for you to figure out ;)

Looking at adulthood enthusiastically with much anxiety and anticipation, I know i'm seeing life in endless color palettes. But at the same time, i'll make sure i cherish the time i spend with whosoever as i travel along the road. Like what the title sounds(which in my mind somehow link to what i'm writing here),What doesn't kill you make you a stronger person :)

The adrenaline that never fail to rush me forward, love that keep me safe and sound, faith for letting me sail through, none but my Father, my Saviour, my Shepherd, The Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you God :)

PS: i miss the late night phone calls with Jonathan Emmanuel (i have to mention the family name cause there's a few more Jonathan(s) i knew, heh) and Cedric. These brothers know how to kick off a start, and make my day, laughing crazily (image gone HAHAHA). Too many things, time isn't right. Till next time :)

2010-10-17T05:55:00.003+08:00

Much awake. Trying very very hard to look through my own-self. I need to get over myself first.Owh well..
The word of the Lord is the greatest weapon of all, and the Lord is my shepherd :) and i'm not afraid :))

Daily Bread

2010-10-16T18:14:00.000+08:00

October 16, 2010 — by Julie Ackerman Link

Despite my best efforts to write clearly, sometimes I’m misunderstood. I feel bad about my failure and try to improve my skills. Occasionally, however, readers take words out of context or read into them something that bears no resemblance to the intended meaning. This is frustrating because there’s no way to control how people use words once they are published.

This brings to mind a much more serious offense—that of misusing the words of the Lord. The prophets in Jeremiah’s day did this. They put their own words into God’s mouth by claiming He said things they wanted to be true but that God had never said. So the Lord told His people, “Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you. . . . They speak a vision of their own heart, not from the mouth of the Lord” (Jer. 23:16). Then the Lord warned the people that He would forsake those who pervert His words and cast them from His presence (vv.36,39).

In contrast, the apostle Paul made a point of saying that he did not handle the Word of God deceitfully (2 Cor. 4:2). He knew the danger of preaching his own ideas rather than God’s. All of us need to be careful to use God’s Word for His purpose, rather than for our own agenda.

Lord, keep us faithful to Your Word,

Although, at times, we might rephrase;

And help us never twist its truths

To justify our selfish ways. —Sper

We must align ourselves with the Bible and never try to align the Bible to ourselves.

There's nothing i can do but to give glory to your name. Thank you Lord, thank you Jesus :)

With love

2010-10-14T17:07:00.002+08:00

If you again couldn't find me on Facebook, probably you know the answer. I deactivated it again. hah! After months of deactivating it, i bring it back somewhere 2 weeks ago, i guess? But it didn't last long though. The fact that I don't like myself checking out peoples' life as if i'm too free for nothing, so i deactivated it again somewhere last week. Note: I reactivated it for less than 5 days. heh! See you when i see you :)

Foodie

2010-10-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

I felt really, really sleepy and i need to be awake. I went downstairs and opened the fridge. Saw walls' chocolate ice-cream and thought it was cool. I scooped it up and saw crushed almond nuts, and i add it in. Then the pack of corn flakes lying sexily on the table and the temptation was so strong and thus i put some in my ice-cream. Wonderfully, something caught my eyes when i was about to go upstairs. Nutella spread. Okay, you know what i do next, get a little of it and "dumped" in my nestle's cup. Making use of what i have at home, I ate it (i know i'm such a foodie) and felt satisfied, feeling good. Thank you Lord.

People who brighten up my day, you know who you are so Thank youssss! :)

Big Pockets

2010-10-13T21:31:00.000+08:00

So mom was telling "Offer! Promotion from Airasia! See! :)"

I know i know. But when will it be when mom dad me and lydia are free at once?
Its been quite some time since i last travel with family, eh? Owh yes.
But, i'm already very grateful to have them by my side :)

Life.

A jolt of blue shot right through my body

2010-10-12T21:42:00.001+08:00

I have so much to say, to share.
There's bundles of thoughts in my mind.
But now, i could no longer share something publicly..or more like i don't know how to anymore
Its the ironic of life when you have thousands friends in FB or so, when you need that someone, you search and search...you find none.

Life.

Hyper-Radioactivity

2010-10-11T20:12:00.001+08:00

I am tired.

I need inspiration.

I need people who can make my day, make me smile.

2010-10-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation"

O God, you are the source of life and peace.
Praised be your name forever.
I know it is you who turn our minds to thoughts of peace.
Hear my prayer in this time of trials and tribulations.
Give to me:
Understanding that puts an end to strife;
Mercy that quenches hatred;
Forgiveness that overcome vengeance and
Patience that endures griefs.
Father Lord, restore the love, the first love i long and thirst after..

Even though i grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest,

Thank You Lord for Life.

Thank you for everything.

In Jesus name i ask and pray,

Amen.

PS: Thank you so much, Derek. Your words indeed awaken me. I couldn't be more thankful having you as my friend :)

Very soon to be...Seventeen!

2010-09-25T16:52:00.003+08:00

My days are numbered, my years are counted. Taken into account that in less than 12 hours, i'll no more be 16, but 17. 17, not a pretty big number, but it doesn't seems to be very little to me either. It hits me.

This high school age was supposed to be merry-go-round phase but the step i'm taking into 17 now seems to decolourise whatever colours I've painted years before. 17, times when you have to be wise to find out, reflect, and ponder who you really are, what decisions you gonna make is going to change your life, where should you go, when you should be home instead of hanging around, your dreams, ambitions and so much more... not quite an adult, but childhood have to be left behind.

It's an ironic stage of lively teen age. Endless tasks of works, activities, stress that you have to deal with, heart broken times, of all sleepless nights, memories and nostalgia, yoyo mood, tears and laughter wonderful all the same.

I'm very blessed with so many things. I have a loving, supportive, wonderful, hopeful family always praying for me and light up my world, strengthen me with their lovely smiles, wishes, hugs, kisses and encouragement. Dad and Mom who brought me to this world. Thank you so much for your love, for your love and for your love. Its been wonderful to have it in me :) Eunice, Joanna and Lydia who never fail to make my day. Thank you so much for your love hopes peaces :)

I'm looking within myself although i roughly catch the picture who am I. The girl who's always searching for happiness and laughter and joy, the serenity and peace, the warmth and love, and hopes, and God. The girl who has her own fears and insecurities, weaknesses and flaws, silliness and childishness, harsh and angry at times. Though at the same time she believes she possess faith (to be strengthen and added each day), some vigors and power and hopefully-strength that will bring her further in the coming years.

I'm stepping into a new level, a brand new phase i've never encounter before in my life.

To understand the facets of all, to be faithful to taste more and to experience more, the never ending new discoveries of life :)

Wild Times, Wild Life

2010-09-22T23:53:00.003+08:00

Like what my title says, Wild Times, Wild life. Things are tough but its getting better now. Life is rough but its all good now. What happened (happens) been (will be) shaping me, moulding me, teaching me, guiding me to own a good and better life journal, to ensure regrets will not take place from time to times. When something happened, hurting my heart so much so i'll always be thinking what i could've done to make things better/friendlier to me. But that's just thought. No one owns a time machine and turn back time in whatever way they wish. It just teaches you more, more on what is meant by life, what is meant by live your life to the fullest.

When things are seeming to be real busy, depression comes in once in a while. But i'm all glad to quick to recover from it. I'm learning as much as i can to let go of something, not holding it (which burdens my heart). It sicken myself and i hate this part. See, i'm trying to chase it out of me. The thing i'm saying here is especially to let go of one's death...(its been a few since 2007)

Anyway, tight schedule nowadays,

15.08.2010 - 02.09.2010 ---> Been having my SPM Trials all day long.

03.09.2010 - 18.09.2010 ---> Its a school holidays BUT i'm not lifeless. I spend this school holidays just the way i want it to be. With my parents, and with my sisters. Something happened in this holidays but that's what make family bond to be stronger and learn how to always depend and surrender ourselves to God, fully. I learn quite a few fulfilling things on Faith from Ps.Moses too. Its been good talking to him :)

19.09.2010 - 21.09.2010 ---> Trials papers are back! I didn't exactly reach what i targeted but its alright. Due to the fact i'm still stuck in the 9As' , i certainly need to do something with my Malay Language and Chinese Language. I got B+ and B respectively. But i DID improve my Chinese Language (last time i got C+). So yea. Anyway, BM is a pain in my neck so i'll see how it really goes by improving my grammar. lol

22.09.2010 ---> I went to take up the P motor license with PuiHong and SherNee. We've been reschedule it a lot of time since March. Anyway, although i have the motor license, i CANNOT drive to anywhere except here in the neighbourhood. If you're wondering, i take it for fun/for emergency times. By the way, i passed the test :) CG at night.

23.09.2010 ---> Schooling day till 3.30. Things to be done before 6. Music practice in church at 8. Then devotion time till whatever time before i sleep.

24.09.2010 ---> Youth Class at 9. Going back to granny house at noon till 5. Church at 7. Going to ZhiQing's house after that. The day is well spent.

25.09.2010 ---> Owh OH this is Saturday right...i think i'm quite free. Wait, extra class at 3 -__- then i'm free yay!

26.09.2010 ---> Schooling day aka my birthday. Usual routine - works books songs (Pra-Spm preparation)

27.09.2010 ---> Schooling day + Pra-Spm preparation

28.09.2010 ---> Schooling day + Pra-Spm preparation

29.09.2010 ---> Schooling day + Pra-Spm preparation (Team from JB will be here)

30.09.2010 ---> Schooling day + Pra-Spm preparation, Special Service at night + music practice

01.10.2010 ---> Youth Class, granny, Church at night. Then off to KL.

02.10.2010 ---> Arrive in KL morning, going to HELP at 12, after that off to BAC for awhile. Going back to Kelantan at 9.

03.10.2010 ---> Reach home midnight (early morning). Off to school. Pra-Spm BERMULA STARTS! can you imagine this...oh oh...

04.10.2010 - i don't know when ---> FREAKING PRA-SPM... LOL! Brain cracking times.

Then it would be SPM pulak.

OKAYY FINE.

But what's not to love about it :) I try.

By the way, i do not say everything here. Neither too public nor in a very private way. Don't try too hard looking through what's visible and invisible.

PS: Although i'm quite busy, but take time to blog makes me feel a little calm.

Sisters

2010-09-20T21:02:00.000+08:00

The picture says it all, isn't it?

Eunice Dajie and Joanna Erjie, if you're reading this, i just want you both to know miles aren't something able to put a wall between us okay? Both of you will never be far apart from me because i secretly put you two in my heart :) Now that you know my secret, keep it too! heh ;)

The Insight Flowing Water

2010-09-18T20:16:00.000+08:00

Eunice Dajie and Joanna Erjie, when will you two back at home, kuala krai, kelantan, malaysia again? :(
Yes, i'm never good in saying goodbye :'(

What is your "5 loaves & 2 fishes"?

2010-09-16T16:44:00.000+08:00

Be blessed people! :)

Lollipop Day

2010-09-16T15:47:00.002+08:00

I went to photo stat my license (lydia went with me) and we saw this awesome thing. haha. Not exactly fully awesome but there's something unique about this. For real, every one at home haven't eat lollipop for quite some time so yea, we bought 6 big-foot lollipop. It only cost 10cent one okay. hahaha. Its cheap, unique, okay-in-taste, so what's not to love about it once in a blue moon :P

At first daddy was like,

Dad:" What is this? Don't want laa."

Me:" you try first dad. It looks like your left foot. haha"

Dad:" don't want... Open for me lah"

Me:" hahahha"

For mom's case,

Me:" mummy, take this"

Mom:" don't want. very sweet. don't like it"

Me:" aiya, take la nvm one. once in a while *wink*"

Mom:"hmmm"

Me: *straight away put in her mouth"

Eunice pulak,

She's playing piano so i just asked her to open her mouth and put the lollipop in. hahaha

Joanna and Lydia :"faster open for us leh" -___-

(Daddy's and Dajie's lollipop missing in action)

haha i know my dad is very cute :P

The ever cool mum. heh! :D

Its hard to snap Eunice dajie's picture cause she's playing piano and wouldn't stop to let me take a nice picture of her holding lollipop :S

Joanna erjie expression says it all. haha :0

no, i did not look pale. its the light -__- i'm excited over the big foot lollipop kay.

she definitely love lollipop. hohoho :B

I guess this is the first time ever in my family everyone had the same lollipop at the same time. heh!

So, when is yours? I'd love to know :DD

What is your best friend criteria? The ideal bestfriend for you. Like um kawan idaman. and what do you hate most about your friend.? be honest:)

2010-09-14T19:27:00.001+08:00

I don't know why but this question struck me at the first sight. Frankly speaking, One that will always be honest to me, help me, correct me in a way i really felt "that's right", knows my heart, one that will encourage me to go all out and purchase my dreams, knows what to do when my life juice drying up, knows how to just be by my side when i'm really sad, one that inspire me. There's more to be ideal best friend but i guess what i mentioned says it all at this time. Hmm, ones that want to gain my trust but never really opened up to me, expect me to believe every word he/she said but in the end was found to be lying all this while. I guess that's the thing. :)

Ask me anything

A Lovely Piece

2010-09-12T18:39:00.000+08:00

Daddy send me this email he received from his brother(my uncle),

"A Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble,

but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.

Do you know why a car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rearview Mirror is so small?

Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. Look ahead and move on.

Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

All things in life are temporary. If things are going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever.

If things are going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.

Old friends are gold! New friends are diamonds! If you get a diamond, don't forget the gold!

Because to hold a diamond, you will always need a base of gold!

Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from above and says,

"Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!

When God solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities;

when God doesn't solve your problems, He has faith in your abilities.

A blind person asked Swami Vivekanand: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?"

He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"

When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes,

when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace."

You know life is ironic, but there's always a way out if you know how to seek God's plan.

I love the way i'm inspired, and i want to inspire people the way i'm inspired.

Be blessed people! Life is good :)

Melancholy

2010-09-11T00:52:00.001+08:00

Its true that "Changing the face" can change nothing. But, "Facing the change" can change everything.

God bless you people! :)

Serenity

2010-09-08T21:59:00.001+08:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

No cord nor cable can so forcibly draw, or hold so fast, as love can do with a twined thread. Life is so uncertain. You never know what will happen the next second in your life. So, do remember to always appreciate people around you. You might not be their support all the time, but you can always pray for them, especially your love ones :)

A lesson learnt lately, taking "no" as the answer sometimes can really help you to grow wise. The road everyone have to take in life aren't always smooth and easy-going. However, those rocks which makes you fall, in return will bring wonders into your life if you know how to make the tough times into a sweet journey deep down in your memory lane :)

Be blessed people! :)

You are my Heavenly Father

2010-09-07T23:25:00.003+08:00

So i made a promise with God.

Its something i haven't felt for a long time.

Something i haven't been doing for a long time.

Now, the time has come.

Beyond Intractability

2010-09-07T01:57:00.007+08:00

The Irony of life when one side of world have more than enough to eat or even throw away the huge amount of food on the land while another side of the world have particular nothing, but starving to death.

A feast that could feed how many thousands of people on Africa

And the food that was being thrown away after the feast, still able to feed and spare a few thousands life in africa

This kid

This innocent baby

This poor one

Could you imagine this, right infront of you

this

and this where people starve to death where there are only bones left

and the dead body being thrown just like that

this, could you pull through?

do you even dare to look at these bodies?

People said skinny people are like having only skin wrapping over their bones which is what most of the models dreams to become. This, is that all about?

and this, watching kid dying day by day

because they have nothing to eat or drink, at all!

This, a skinny bonnie family photo waiting for death to come?

or this, a dead baby, a dead innocent baby

No doubt, the world could be so unfair at times where the rich enjoy and the poor suffer.

People who live in rich countries do not know this or merely because they do not want to know this or do not understand what life is without food.

Its nearly impossible to help everyone in this world and make sure everyone on earth is fed. But i believe, there's always a miracle. I believe something can be done, like a prayer. Most of us might not be able to support them financially, physically or mentally but praying for these people can really contribute something. I just couldn't stand this ironic of this life where the conflicts between the rich and the poor was beyond human's limit to do anything.

I just couldn't be more thankful because i am so blessed with everything i have.

God had been so kind, generous, and have so much compassion towards me. All i want to do right now is to seek his guidance and follow the plan and destiny he had for me.

I want to love more, i want to give more, i want to have more compassion towards others, i want to bless, i want to worship, i want to praise Him and most of all, i want to serve the Lord.

No one knows my heart better than the Almighty One.

Prayers, always the greatest power of all.

Thank you Jesus!

Behold!

2010-09-04T20:25:00.004+08:00

The ill-balanced world.

It is not absolutely rosy, nor it is totally thorny.

The rose is soft, beautiful and fragrant; but the stem in which the rose flower grows is full of terns.

Because of the rose, one tolerates the thorns.

However, one will not disparage the rose, on the accounts of thorns.

I just wish i could climbed on the balustrade to tell,

You do not know me well enough to like me.

And that's exactly what i meant.

Who can strain the blue from the sky?

2010-09-02T20:02:00.004+08:00

So, i met this Old Man who looks a lot like the KFC old man.

And heh! he's indeed very friendly to take a picture with me ;) The short conversation we had is fun, relaxing and at the same time, quite exciting. haha!

Anyway, finally my SPM trials is over after 3 weeks, which includes 26 papers.

Imagine you have to sit in the hall keep on writing and writing until you realise your butt is pain sticking to the chair whole day long. Not much impressing, eh? Also, i finish up TWO blue g-soft ball pens. Like one dried up completely and another one still with very very very little left which you might write half an essay with it. hah! Not much impressing x2, eh?

Eunice and Joanna is coming back for Raya holidays which means I'll be spending my school holidays with them, like totally. This is really really good and cool because the last time they came back I didn't really get to spend them together with both of them at the same time.

Now, i have a few good books to read and i'm sooo going to finish them up before school reopen. You know novels have been my good company ever since last century. hahaha! Its like you can go shopping and i'll be waiting at you in the mall, sitting on a bench, indulging myself in a book with a cup of tea of whatever. After all, that's what i did in the last trip to Ipoh when we're in Jusco. Basically, that's a not-bad combo lah.

Like what my title sounds, who can strain the blue from the sky?

"It is as near as you in your life, but you can never wholly know it"

The malay movie, Sepet is one of the best malay movie i've ever watched. Ranging from the characters in the movie to the storyline and what was being conveyed, it was just nice and good, to me :)

I Believe, Would you?

2010-08-31T16:32:00.004+08:00

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.

Same goes for true love.
I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe....
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.
I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe....
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs
to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe....
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe....
That it isn't always enough,
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe....
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
Out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe....
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
Hours by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have.

That is so true, isn't it? :)

Quick Share

2010-08-28T16:01:00.002+08:00

Really love this group picture :)

Love you may girl, happy 17th birthday! :)

do you believe monsters existence?

2010-08-27T17:30:00.001+08:00

monsters and ghost are real, they live in us. sometimes, they win :)

Ask me anything

omaigodd ! :| is it because of spm thingy or something else? ehh, so you're not longer use your old phone number anymore? blueekk i dont miss you! wakaka xD i'll miss you soon. you're nt in SYP1 next year :'( hmm btw, good luck fr your trial and SPM ! ;)

2010-08-23T19:48:00.001+08:00

spm of course is a thing but there's some little reasons hiding behind those scenes. will cerita-kan for you if you're willing to listen one day. hahaha :P yea yea, you will definitely miss seeing my ":D" face. hahaha! and thank you so much, farah! people like you make my day :)

Ask me anything

Tender Loving Care: August ’10 holidays =)

2010-08-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

Tender Loving Care: August ’10 holidays =): "Every time i come home for holidays, there are a few things that surely will be done... First of all, cooking, then cleaning, then a no-sala..."

Every once in a while, miracles have to happen

2010-08-21T20:34:00.003+08:00

I guess its really time to learn to really live without that someone.

No more messages from him,

no more calls from him,

no more smiles from him,

no more the "owh lily" look from him,

no more ":l" from him,

no more jokes from him,

no more talks with him,

no more laughter with him,

no more lame joy with and from him,

and that's what happened when there's this full-stop [.]

*sigh*,

friends, best friends, or special friends really come and go. don't they?

i will miss those times

Here by my side

2010-08-21T10:04:00.002+08:00

Dear Parents,

I just want to take this opportunity to really say thank you to both of you. The fact that dad and mom always uphold and support me really touched my heart so deeply recently. The love that both of you showered upon me; the care given unto me; the hope that has been installed in my spirit. When i really felt so discouraged, you are there to enlighten me and light up my world. Times when i really needed someone to guide and lead me, you showed me to always have my focus on God. Moments when i make every decision, you were always right beside me to show me direction. The fact when i thought to myself, dad and mom going to get mad at me because for doing this and that, both of you keep it quiet because the faith and belief that you have for me to notice my own mistakes. So much so much more and i just can't merely describe it all my gratitude for everything you've done in my life. Daddy, Mummy, if you're reading this, i just want to tell you "Thank you so much and I love you, daddy, mummy" :')

Daughther,

Lily

Personification

2010-08-16T17:15:00.004+08:00

Identity. Qualification.

Love. Hope. Peace. Joy.

No matter how hard one can cover up, still everybody is afraid, everyone is hurt. And that's just so impossible to erase it all at a time. Yes, I don't wanna talk about it, i don't wanna care about it. I can say that all the time like i don't even want or care to bother a single thing about it, but i guess i'm helpless. We can be so great in so many things, but still greater one will be coming all along our ways. See, no points of being " owhh :( :( she's beautiful than me", "she's better than me", "she's smarter than me", "she's so spontaneous, so much more than me" etc.

There's always someone better than someone, and greater one coming up to replace the someone, then the circle goes round.

Being too competitive sometimes isn't a bad thing, but sometimes, it isn't a good thing, also.

Right, lily tan?

owh owh, lily tan. there's so much more (infinity) for you to learn.

PS: Just watch, don't get too near.

Trying to feel what you're feeling

2010-08-14T22:17:00.002+08:00

I guess this photo i just took best describe my feelings now. (If you get what i mean). And yes, if you could tell by the above picture, there's three main things there.

Well, That is only if you know me that well to catch up with me.

owh owh lily, when will you at least learn to hold back your -----?

hi babe! :D

2010-08-14T16:37:00.001+08:00

LILIANAAAAAAAAAAA! or well known as ELLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!! hahaha. good to see you here ;)

Ask me anything

Footprints

What 2011 has done to me

Scramble thoughts&feelings

Of Summer and Winter

A Keep Up With Life

A little of life

一个故事说穿了很多人

To whom it may concern

Acts of Love

To a friend

something from FB

听说重感情的人是这样的by 非主流1、容易满足，更容易受伤2、总有一种，被忽视的感觉3、付出的远远超过得到的4、很固执，不懂得放弃5、总是说着要离开，却一再为自己找不离开的理由

听说重感情的人是这样的

counting, and still counting

learning, growing

life juice

when you need to learn new things

A Piece Of Memory

A Chapati Story

Swings

Merriment, Nostalgia

Redirecting

Bonjour!

Chasing Pavements

A walk to remember

You say

Milestone

On earth since 21 October 1989

Punchline

What doesn't kill you make you a stronger person

Daily Bread

With love

Foodie

Big Pockets

A jolt of blue shot right through my body

Hyper-Radioactivity

Very soon to be...Seventeen!

Wild Times, Wild Life

Sisters

The Insight Flowing Water

What is your "5 loaves & 2 fishes"?

Lollipop Day

What is your best friend criteria? The ideal bestfriend for you. Like um kawan idaman. and what do you hate most about your friend.? be honest:)

A Lovely Piece

Melancholy

Serenity

You are my Heavenly Father

Beyond Intractability

Behold!

Who can strain the blue from the sky?

I Believe, Would you?

Quick Share

do you believe monsters existence?

omaigodd ! :| is it because of spm thingy or something else? ehh, so you're not longer use your old phone number anymore? blueekk i dont miss you! wakaka xD i'll miss you soon. you're nt in SYP1 next year :'( hmm btw, good luck fr your trial and SPM ! ;)

Tender Loving Care: August ’10 holidays =)

Every once in a while, miracles have to happen

Here by my side

Personification

Trying to feel what you're feeling

hi babe! :D

听说重感情的人是这样的
by 非主流

1、容易满足，更容易受伤
2、总有一种，被忽视的感觉
3、付出的远远超过得到的
4、很固执，不懂得放弃
5、总是说着要离开，却一再为自己找不离开的理由